People are afraid of many things. Some are justified, like wasps, while some are more nebulous, like trying to start a book or a creative project. Once you’ve started, everything is fine, but it’s that first idea, the first few words on the page, which are so terrifying. Bad thoughts enter your mind like- it won’t be good enough, it will be terrible, I can’t do this, I don’t have good ideas. Well, I’m here to tell you that those voices in your head, the whispers that you’re not good enough, are in fact wrong. There are many ways to overcome this fear of starting something, such as starting in the middle of your work, giving your work a title, and even giving yourself permission to write badly.
What I am trying to build with Written Off Writing is a platform, a place where people can come and write and create without anxiety or fear or judgement. I tell people – if you don’t know where to start, don’t worry! We’ll give you a place to start!
Enough with the plug. Let me talk to you about some of the fears of beginning and why they exist, and then let me try to comfort you around those fears, so you can be fear-less!
What is the fear of writing?
There are two names for the fear of writing – graphophobia which is the fear of writing, and scriptophobia which is the fear of writing in, or for, the public. You can start with graphophobia, and conquer that, so you’re comfortable writing, and then crash into scriptrophobia when someone you know wants to read your work.
I am not going to make judgements of what fears people have. I have an irrational fear of drain grates in the road that I have to walk over. I am always afraid I am going to drop my keys or my phone down them, to the point I either hold onto both very tightly or literally walk around them.
The fear of writing is not a fear of putting words on the page. You can write a shopping list or even a text message to a friend. This fear of writing is creating something, using your imagination to build a world, or a story. We are afraid it won’t be good enough, or it will be a stupid idea, or the idea has been done before, or no one will like it.
Let me walk you through some of these fears.
Imposter Syndrome
This is arguably the biggest fear and block for any writer. I have it, still, and I have been writing creatively for well over thirty years. This is the belief that you’re not worthy of the success you’ve achieved and you don’t deserve the compliments of your work, because you know you’re a fraud and eventually everyone else will find out as well.
I will narrow the lenses of imposter syndrome to focus on the creative work you’re afraid to start. Firstly, no one has to read what you write, so no one will ever discover that you’re a fraud. (You’re not actually a fraud. You’re freaking awesome that you did some writing.) And purely by putting words to paper, to screen, you’ve shown that little gremlin that you’re not an imposter. You are a writer.
Before you say- yes but it is terrible and no one will want to read that, I ask you- do you write a journal? Do you expect anyone to read that? Do you edit, curate, rewrite or plan out what you do in there? No? Good. You’re still writing. Even journal writing is good. You learn to use words, express yourself and dig deep to find what you need to say. And that is good advice when you’re way up on the writing ladder trying to write scenes with soul and life and the stakes are much higher.
And as a little aside, honestly? Your writing is probably better than what you think, and if you let someone you trust read it and they say so, they wouldn’t lie to you. Take a chance and believe them.
Fear of Failure
This is an interesting fear because I wonder what you think you’re failing at doing. If you write a short story, even if you don’t think it’s any good, how have you failed? You have created something.
I feel this fear comes about because so many people who write and create base their sense of self on being creative, that if they can’t come up with an idea, or if they create something and they think it’s not good enough, then THEY are a failure.
I follow many writers and creators on social media who trumpet the idea that creating something is a success, even if you suck. You need to separate the creation from the creator, and even then, the idea of failure needs to be diluted.
I have written short stories which were rejected by magazines. Does that make them a failure? Technically yes, because they were not picked up and published. But,
- I wrote something.
- I edited it.
- I sent it to a magazine.
That’s three ticks. Not a failure.
Fear of Judgement
This is one of mine. I self-published 2 novels in a series and then dragged
my feet for the third one. Why? Because once I finish it and publish it, people can read the whole series and judge me on it. That scares me, and it still does.
In my professional life as a marketing content writer, everything I produce is judged by my bosses and the clients. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Yet we choose to be in this field of creativity, of subjectivity, to be judged by others for our work. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Here’s the thing- there are people on the internet who hate cats. How could you hate cute cuddly kitties, I don’t know, but they exist. This means that no matter what you create, there will inevitably be someone out there who doesn’t like it and will judge you negatively.
Care not for their opinions. If you enjoyed making it, and other people like it, lean into the positive. Also, this fear gets easier the more you write and the more judgement you get. You just have to work your way through the pain.
It’s not good enough
You know what? It never will be. I still find there is a gap between the awesome movie I have in my head, and what comes out on the page. It is getting smaller but only through many years of writing. Also through negotiation.
I would tell my freelancers who worked for me that I want their blogs to be ‘good enough’. Does it read well, does it tick all the boxes of the brief? Are there SEO components to the blog? Did you edit and spell check? It just had to be good enough.
What this did was lower the bar of expectation. I wasn’t expecting War and Peace, however I also wasn’t asking for someone to phone it in with AI writing. I wanted something written well, that reads well. And that was good enough.
Ask yourself the same question- is it good enough? And be gentle with your answer. Even now I look at my first book and think- I could have strengthened that, written that better. Perhaps one day I may go back and rewrite some bits and release an anniversary edition. All the cool kids do that, right?
How to begin?
How do you begin something with all these fears? I have heard advice such as- just do it, just start writing, but that comes from a place of someone who has pretty much conquered those fears, enough, to do that.
Yes, the easiest ways to conquer your fears is to face them and understand they’re not that scary. To do this, just start writing. Simple!
No, firstly you need to put yourself into a safe space. Don’t over think the safe space though. I once couldn’t start writing until I had the perfect computer setup, with two monitors and a nice mechanical keyboard. Someone then told me that some of the best books ever written were done on a typewriter, or hand written. Pretty much- get over yourself.
- A safe space for a creative person would be a scrap book or a journal, somewhere that your creative stuttering won’t bother anyone else, and you can do what you want, without judgement.
- Give yourself permission to fail, to create art that sucks, to mess up, to get it wrong. We often don’t get the chance to do so as we age. We’re not allowed to mess up and get something wrong. Unless its cooking and we get to eat the leftovers. So mess around, get all that junk out of the way so you can begin to mine the creative gold.
- Keep a journal. It can be a writing journal or a craft journal, a visual journal or a diary. Set out intention, say you’re going to try something, and just do it. It can plot the course of your creative evolution. You can look back and see how far you’ve come.
- Find a tribe. I can’t remember who said it but- if you can’t find your tribe, then build your own. Find people who will lift you up, encourage you, who will champion your creative cause. Surround yourself with creative people who give honest feedback, help you, guide you and reign you in when needed. Writing, creating, does not need to be a solitary existence.
The hardest step is the first one. I find that the first five to ten minutes of writing is the hardest, when I am more likely to be distracted, not get into it, grumble and moan. But once I’ve got past that hurdle, I settle in and see what happens, and words come forth. Understand you’re not alone when it comes to the first step.
Know that the first step is not as scary as you thought. If you don’t like where it takes you, start again. No one is saying that once you start a story you have to finish it. You can rub out the words, paint over the cracks and do something else. This is the joy of doing something creative!
I took part in a beginner’s pottery class. The teacher was great, she said that if what we’re doing doesn’t work, grab all the clay, mush it back into a ball, smack it on the wheel and start again!
Don’t be afraid to start. Don’t be afraid to confront your fears. Don’t be afraid to help others confront theirs, and don’t be afraid to ask for help, from your tribe, to get over yours.
